Being single and not giving a shit is a lethal combination and the ultimate freeing experience. Nothing is holding me back from saying or doing whatever I want (okay, except the military). I’m dangerous with my honesty right now, and it feels so refreshing. I have nothing to prove to anyone and no one to impress. I’m a little jaded (yea…more like Alanis Morissette circa 1995 jaded) and rough around the edges at the moment, and I’m not apologizing for it.
And before I get messages coming in saying, “You’ll find someone. Hang in there.” Don’t worry! I’m not concerned about it. That’s the beauty. I don’t want that right now. The thought of bringing a man into my life makes me want to throw up.
The thing about being single at age 27 is that most of my friends are not. I haven’t been able to relate to most of my friends on this level as I have never been one to want kids or have marriage be a priority in my life, but I definitely can’t relate to their lives much anymore now that they are actually following through with these wild and crazy lifestyle changes. Most of my friends are either A. in serious relationships B. engaged C. Married D. With child or E. Married with child
And then there’s me. I don’t know if I’ve ever been so single in my life. I don’t think I’m cynical for wanting to be by myself…and enjoying life by myself. I don’t envision my future very often, but when I do, kids and marriage have definitely not been apart of it. Just because a person doesn’t follow society’s norm doesn’t mean she is cynical. I’m not like, “F*** men. They all suck.” But at the same time, I mean mug any random man that I encounter at the moment (again, not sorry).
I don’t think I have ever focused on myself and my own personal growth as much as I have recently. Presently, I am solely focused on my dog, Mary Tyler Moore, my career, and myself. Things I have realized:
I am a much more motivated version of myself as a single person.
I’m happier when I’m single.
I’m resilient.
I’m a free spirit.
I’m very independent.
I miss my dog when I’m at work.
I don’t utilize my entire house.
I love having my bathroom completely to myself.
I do things I enjoy more often when I am single.
I’m more social when I’m single.
I don’t care about impressing anyone.
I stopped apologize for things I’m not sorry for.
My biggest obstacle as a single lady? I hate heights and I want to hang Christmas lights on my house this year meaning I will have to be the one to climb on my roof in order to do so. Life can be so challenging at times.
Anyway, this is just a glimpse into my life right now as a 27 year old slightly jaded, terrifyingly honest, unapologetic single lady trying to figure my shit out. As always, I’ll keep ya updated and let you know how it all plays out.
rachaelbjerke 